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Is Your School Infested With
Ed Lice?
Parasite -
An organism that grows, feeds, and is sheltered on or in a different
organism while contributing nothing to the
survival of its host.
 
Head Lice and Ed Lice are common
problems faced by schools. Ed lice are parasites closely related
to Head lice. They feed on unsuspecting parents and children.
They feed exclusively on tax dollars! Their bites often result
in an allergic reaction. Some humans tend to react more strongly
to ed lice bites (they become sensitized), while others may never
react no matter how many times they are bitten. In those instances
where infestations are heavy and people are bitten many times,
the bites are so annoying that a person will lose considerable
sleep, and they may suffer from household and academic deficiencies
due to the loss of tax dollars.
Because of their inconspicuous nature, Ed Lice can
be transported from one school to another by TASB, TASA, education
conferences, and a variety of other ways. Once in, Ed Lice can
hide almost anywhere. As one might suspect, they tend to be found
around school budgets and contracts, hiding in school finance
lingo, land deals, and construction costs, but they can also be
found behind special interest legislation, under consulting contracts,
and even behind statements like "We're doing it for the kids".
Control of a Ed Lice infestation requires the careful
examination of motives, promises made and kept, curriculum and
school financial records.
Because Ed Lice are inconspicuous, most humans do not know they
have been infested. Many humans do not recognize the symptoms
of Ed Lice, but do have a general feeling that something is not
quite right.
Many humans, unable to shake the feeling, will move
to another school which may also be infested. Other humans will
ignore the symptoms, thinking it is just in their head, which
only increases infestation.
The only effective extermination method is to shine
a spotlight directly on the Ed Lice. They do not like being under
a light and will first try to hide. Perseverance is the key
to effective extermination. Parents of infested schools must continue
shining a light in all corners of school finance until they run
the Ed Lice out of their schools. Unfortunately, like cockroaches,
Ed Lice tend to scurry to the next host and infest neighboring
schools.
Constant vigilance is the only protection against
resident Ed Lice and migrating Ed Lice.
Ed Lice are equal opportunity parasites; they do
not respect socioeconomic class distinctions. Their presence does
not denote a lack of parental care.
How can I treat a Ed Lice
infestation?
The most important step in treating an ed lice infestation is
to treat the infested school or school board with constant supervision,
spotlighting any suspicious activity.
Prevent Reinfestation: Ed Lice are most commonly
spread directly by TASB, TASA and other educrat-friendly mechanisms.
Any change in school leadership is a possible point of reinfestation.
Only vigilant parents, teachers and good administrators, working
as a team can prevent reinfestation.
Avoid school board members and employees
who provide "feel good" explanations for lack of fiscal
accountability or responses to reasonable questions. All answers
should be backed up with meaningful numbers and data.
Warning:
If you find this offensive, you may be infested.
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